It's a challenge to keep pace with your week, Ali, but I'm here for the journey. Just. November 3rd, my birthday. Spent again 4hrs from home beside my father as he receives end of life care. The internal gymnastics required to process that I am now providing intimate personal care to this man that I love dearly but who has shunned me for years. The sadness and rage at the wasted years robbed by his adherence to the cult. Still, I'm grateful he has let me in right at the end.
November 3rd. My birthday. I support his weight as I hold the bottle for him, knowing there will be no "happy birthday, my boy."
Oh John! I think this just shows how much you’re the bigger person. It must be intensely hard to try and work all or any of this out. And HAPPY BIRTHDAY. It was my boy’s birthday yesterday.
Thank you for keeping pace. It’s a lot of fun to do. I’m becoming a little bit preoccupied by it, as with most things I start involving writing.
Thank you Ali. I realised after posting, the magic is there, it's in the being present, holding him, finally being a son to my father; a silver-bearded little boy being accepted. A shimmering of light as his life diminishes. Magic.
I would love to see one day a collection of your Substack writings collated and bound. They capture moments of the every day with such resonance.
Wonderful, Ali. Thank you. As we both know - magic is real.
So fucking real. I love that my children are alive to it.
I love what your son said. And so young. It took me decades to begin to understand that.
It's a challenge to keep pace with your week, Ali, but I'm here for the journey. Just. November 3rd, my birthday. Spent again 4hrs from home beside my father as he receives end of life care. The internal gymnastics required to process that I am now providing intimate personal care to this man that I love dearly but who has shunned me for years. The sadness and rage at the wasted years robbed by his adherence to the cult. Still, I'm grateful he has let me in right at the end.
November 3rd. My birthday. I support his weight as I hold the bottle for him, knowing there will be no "happy birthday, my boy."
I read your post instead.
Oh John! I think this just shows how much you’re the bigger person. It must be intensely hard to try and work all or any of this out. And HAPPY BIRTHDAY. It was my boy’s birthday yesterday.
Thank you for keeping pace. It’s a lot of fun to do. I’m becoming a little bit preoccupied by it, as with most things I start involving writing.
Thank you Ali. I realised after posting, the magic is there, it's in the being present, holding him, finally being a son to my father; a silver-bearded little boy being accepted. A shimmering of light as his life diminishes. Magic.
I would love to see one day a collection of your Substack writings collated and bound. They capture moments of the every day with such resonance.
I’m pleased you can see it like that, otherwise it would drive you mad, and bitter and all the things you’ve fought not to be.
That could be interesting. I’m determined to keep this up. So let’s see where it goes!
Please do! I'll be here, waiting to be nourished by your writing as I always am.
💙💙💙