I should be writing an essay today. I tried. But it wouldn’t work. It’s my mum’s birthday today. That fact seems to eclipse everything else I’m trying to do. It’s a thing I dragged with me on the school run and back again. The last birthday she celebrated was her 29th, I think; she’s 70 today. I can’t stop thinking of her sitting somewhere, resolutely not celebrating it, because I can’t stop thinking about it, I’m writing about it in an attempt to put it somewhere else. Lately, I’ve been captivated by Nick Laird’s
I’ve said it before, but all of this resonates so much. I’m really truly happy to have found someone who writes about relatively similar experiences. The annual reminder of a mother’s absence is a sharp punch to the gut. And it never gets any easier. Hope the pain subsides soon.
Thank you so much for sharing this. The complex relationships I hold with my parents make me feel so alone so often, and though it hurts to know that others know a similar pain -- it also helps to feel less alone. Thank you again
Again, Ali, you speak to me with such insight. My JW mum died in September. She had refused all and any contact for years despite repeated and kind attempts on my part. The brutality of shunning did nothing to diminish my love. My JW brother (an elder of course) intentionally withheld from me news of her hospitalisation until the day before she died. No chance for goodbye and left with an ugly unresolved grief that refuses to be put to bed. I thinking about her today too. Thank you.
I was also raised a JW and got out in my mid twenties. That cult destroyed my family. Both my parents died in the past two years and grieving them has brought painful memories to the fore. But at last my sister and I, and they, are free from that ridiculous cult.
I’ve said it before, but all of this resonates so much. I’m really truly happy to have found someone who writes about relatively similar experiences. The annual reminder of a mother’s absence is a sharp punch to the gut. And it never gets any easier. Hope the pain subsides soon.
Thank you so much for sharing this. The complex relationships I hold with my parents make me feel so alone so often, and though it hurts to know that others know a similar pain -- it also helps to feel less alone. Thank you again
Again, Ali, you speak to me with such insight. My JW mum died in September. She had refused all and any contact for years despite repeated and kind attempts on my part. The brutality of shunning did nothing to diminish my love. My JW brother (an elder of course) intentionally withheld from me news of her hospitalisation until the day before she died. No chance for goodbye and left with an ugly unresolved grief that refuses to be put to bed. I thinking about her today too. Thank you.
I hear you, Ali. It's awful. When we are crying out for maternal love and shout into the void, it pervades everything we do.
I posted this today about the deaths of my Jehovah’s Witnesses parents : https://hobbsw.substack.com/p/death-of-parents?sd=pf
I was also raised a JW and got out in my mid twenties. That cult destroyed my family. Both my parents died in the past two years and grieving them has brought painful memories to the fore. But at last my sister and I, and they, are free from that ridiculous cult.