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Blue Kirkhope's avatar

I’ve said it before, but all of this resonates so much. I’m really truly happy to have found someone who writes about relatively similar experiences. The annual reminder of a mother’s absence is a sharp punch to the gut. And it never gets any easier. Hope the pain subsides soon.

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Ali Millar's avatar

It's always such a gut punch. So many lines in Up Late that punched in a similar way. I hope your pain does too, is a sporadic thing now, which is progress.

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Barbie Wells's avatar

Thank you for sharing this. My JW Mom died about 3 years ago and my JW Dad died about a year after that. They shunned me for the majority of my adult life because of that stupid religion/cult. I was not with them when either of them passed because that's what they wanted to die alone with their "faith". I will never have closure and that's a hard pill to swallow. It truly helps knowing others are out there that experienced something similar.

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Ali Millar's avatar

I'm sorry this happened to you too. There is some comfort in knowing others have experienced similar. For such a long time I blamed myself, and my mum too, now I realise how coerced we all were, and how so many others are in similar situations.

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John's avatar

Again, Ali, you speak to me with such insight. My JW mum died in September. She had refused all and any contact for years despite repeated and kind attempts on my part. The brutality of shunning did nothing to diminish my love. My JW brother (an elder of course) intentionally withheld from me news of her hospitalisation until the day before she died. No chance for goodbye and left with an ugly unresolved grief that refuses to be put to bed. I thinking about her today too. Thank you.

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Ali Millar's avatar

That's the thing, the love doesn't go away. We aren't being conditioned either to see cruelty as love. I'm so sorry you didn't have a chance to say goodbye, it's really hard. And you describe it perfectly, it's the unresolved nature of it that makes it so difficult to live with.

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Sue Reed's avatar

I hear you, Ali. It's awful. When we are crying out for maternal love and shout into the void, it pervades everything we do.

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May 23, 2023
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Ali Millar's avatar

I'm so pleased you're free now. It really is a harmful organisation.

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Apr 24, 2023
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Ali Millar's avatar

I'm pleased it helps. It's so difficult isn't it when you think you're the only one. That's what's amazed me about The Last Days, is learning these complicated relationships are often more common than we think.

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